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11-Apr-2020 21:45

When we are meeting online and tackling subjects that are so nuanced, you can lose that nuance.

Those tender subjects are tricky to tackle in any form.”Just a few weeks ago, a moderator quit the group after a discussion of moderator practices — how they vetted posts, for example — left her feeling bullied, she said.

Politics, race and infidelity are topics that reliably lead to problems. “This is not a liberal arts college, circa 2016,” she wrote in part. Bring on the posts about money concerns and racism concerns and class struggle, but don’t blame fellow members without real cause.

“I’ll be out somewhere and I’ll get a text from someone saying basically there’s a huge fight in Aisle 6 and what do we do? Assume goodness, please.”Jenny Douglas, an early Woolfer and moderator, said, “If there’s a post you don’t like, we say, ‘Scroll on by.’ You don’t need to pick a fight with everything or anyone you disagree with.

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There’s intimacy that’s thrilling, but this isn’t.”Conversations have leaked outside the group, like the time one woman wrote of her son’s bad behavior, and another Woolfer told her own child, who happened to know the son, who then told the son of his mother’s revelations about his conduct.“It was pretty easy to figure out who it was,” Ms. “I reached out and said, ‘This is super-uncool,’ and we removed her from the group.Woolfers have also swapped houses and apartments, rented each other rooms and raised money for groups including the Center for Reproductive Rights and the Trust for Public Land.

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